Shorter Limbaugh: you should be mad enough at the New York Times for a story that Drudge Report broke to back John McCain even though I don’t.

Shorter corpo-corpse: Global Warming still isn’t happening even though we’re getting ready to profit from it.

Shorter RNC: you should be mad enough at Obama for something Clinton said to give us more of your money.

Shorter House Republicans: 9/11 was the greatest thing that ever happened to us, can’t wait for another.

Shorter Bush proxy: Obama’s Afghanistan story came from Jamal Hussein.

Shorter Condi: of course not, I’m black, remember?

Shorter John McCain: of course I know how to run against the lobbyists, they’re doing business on my bus.

Shorterer John McCain: watch me dig the hole deeper!


Man, it’s a full-court press on stupid this morning.


p.s.: oh, and don’t forget this from yesterday. Future historical anthropologists, having back-formulated from Republican talking-points to a reconstruction of their constituents, will probably wind up locked in an endless debate over whether such people could have been literate. Someone will have a paradox named after him/her.