How to catch a conservative? Easy! Just offer them more socialism! They love that stuff:

To Recruit Conservatives Into Academia We Need Socialism!

What do you do when there are not enough laissez-fare loving, personal responsibility professing and family values fundies at your university? You make it more socialist:

The research led the Woessners to conclude that if higher education wants to attract more conservatives to the professoriate, it should smooth the way financially, offering subsidized health insurance and housing for graduate students, and adopting family-friendly policies for professors.

Conservatism, when socialism is too good for anyone but yourself!

Conservatives like to whine about the hoardes of conservative humanities Ph.D.’s out there who can’t get jobs. (apparently, only conservatives can see all these people; weird) They claim they’re frozen out of academia because of liberal bias.

Um, no. I’ve never met a conservative who didn’t think that the humanities were a waste of time. That’s why so few of them study the humanities any more than the core-curriculum requires them to.

Kinda hard to, you know, accidentally earn a Ph.D.

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