The “X” in Texas has been found dead.

A UT student, only recently turned twenty, was found dead after an apparent fall from a four-story building. Police are still investigating. But, when I heard that he was a member of the Texas Hellraisers, I pretty much assumed I knew what had happened.

The Texas Hellraisers are a “spirit” organization, something that has probably been the subject of endless bad puns. They are the drunkest people I have ever met. That’s their objective. They get hammered, paint their bodies, and scream at Texas sporting events. Lots of people do that all over the country, but the Texas Hellraisers do it an inch away from alcohol poisoning by design. This guy was the “X” in TEXAS.
They spend the rest of their time bailing each other out of jail and checking up on each other in the emergency room. No, really.

As part of their initiation, they have to drink a shot for each letter of

L – O – N – G – H – O – R – N

H – E – L – L – R – A – I – S – E – R – S

That’s right, a shot for each letter. They write the letters on their forearms because they’d lose track otherwise. That’s nineteen shots.
After that, the pledge has to chug a beer and puke, hitting a target.

So, you can see why I automatically assume that Mr. X, visiting friends, was dead drunk and just plain fell off the building. His friends must have passed out, because no one noticed he was missing. The body was found the next day by a passer-by.